The Slow Burn Era: Reclaiming Peace and Purpose - By Trena Laine Olfert

As this season unfolds, it's more than just building communities and profits. It’s an invitation to pause and ask ourselves, “How am I truly feeling?”, a question that often holds the key to balance, purpose, and renewal.

Over the past several years, and most recently whether I am working closely with my clients or hosting a masterclass on personal development- I ask that question too. You would be surprised how often a surprised look comes back “She is asking about me? How am I feeling?” versus “What more could I be doing?”.

Community is essential, and we thrive when we work together. But to build strong connections and meaningful businesses, we must first prioritize our well-being.

Allow me to share. 

I’m grateful for the connections, experiences, and support I’ve found through networks like Alberta Women Entrepreneurs. Over my 20-year journey as an entrepreneur, I’ve had the opportunity to meet incredible women, invite colleagues to join me, and even participate in the Bold Leadership program in 2021. The lessons learned and the relationships built continue to shape my path today.

AWE fosters a community of encouragement, motivation, and support, helping women entrepreneurs reach their goals through resources, financing, and mentorship. It’s been a privilege to be part of a space that uplifts and empowers women from all walks of life.

And, while we all continue to get together and chat about goals, charts, financials, growth, and dreams, around our companies and communities, I have also asked my colleagues the same question I started this article with: “How are you feeling?”. The question that sparks deeper conversation versus just chit-chat about our recent success and achievements.  

In my new memoir, Dear Aaron, I share my observations on how most of us continue to move within our careers at this constant fast-paced vibe.  I have witnessed several of my colleagues experience burnout, neglecting their health, and not allowing proper rest within our busy schedules- and, well, that is just the beginning of my list. 

I am all for ambition, however, I too have experienced burnout and unfortunately, also, watched my beautiful husband not put himself priority before his career for too long before he passed away in his sleep. A year ago, his heart was finished, and he too neglected his mental health which trickled into his physical health.  If you were to look at him, you would have not known he was not well. 

Unless you were part of our inner circle, you wouldn’t have seen the storm building. The stress had been quietly escalating for years, since the pandemic, right up until his passing. To most, it was a shock. And while I, too, was devastated, I also saw it coming. It had been unfolding far too long.

I began sharing my journey

That same week - including topics and thought processes around hustle culture was a massive part of my sharing.  The current work culture and this “definition of success”: is that our roles are created to have our jobs shoulder most of the work- yet this does not create sustainability. We also have been taught that to be successful, we continue to do more, be more, and constantly strive.

But, the human body is not a machine. It requires rest, peace, and harmony and while I am all for banking that money to put food on the table, sleep in the bed that I sleep in, travel, or whatever your list is-  we need to shift from our masculine energy to our softer feminine energy from time to time. Allow us to take a break from this endless hustle and the pursuit of more.  

It is more than just taking a vacation. 

What if we moved with the rhythm of the seasons, pausing to celebrate our efforts, honoring the fruits of our labor, and shaping our work around our vitality so we can truly thrive? If we never slow down, what is it all for? Our worth isn’t measured by endless productivity or the constant push to do more.

I’ve long spoken about the dangers of hustle culture, but after Aaron’s passing, this belief deepened. Many of us dream of working for ourselves, yet we rarely create a work-life balance that truly aligns with our needs. What if we built our careers around a different question: What do you need?

Your well-being should be a priority. Where do you fit into your own schedule? Where is the rest, the joy, the faith, the family? Who is supporting you? We weren’t meant to be "on" all the time, always chasing tomorrow at the expense of today and begin to make space for what truly matters.

Success should not cost you your health, marriage, family, and your peace at the end of the day.

You are human, and I’m sure you’ve found yourself daydreaming—about something missing, something more, or something different. But here’s the truth: peace isn’t something you can buy, and neither is your health. If you couldn’t work tomorrow, would your business or job carry on? The corporate world moves forward, with or without us—that much, I’ve seen firsthand.

So, let’s shift the focus. It starts with this - brace yourself - YOU FIRST.

What if you put the phone away, made it harder to be constantly available, set real boundaries, and built a schedule that prioritized you before work? I challenge you to give yourself permission to rethink how you work, and more importantly, how you rest.

You can only fully be part of a community when you put your needs first.  

Design a meaningful career without sacrificing your well-being, fill your cup first. If you need a break, take it. Gripping too tightly to the future, and constantly showing up for everything and everyone, only leads to chaos and frustration. Most of us know that when we push too hard, things often stop flowing in our favor.

So, why do we continue to push? From conversations with others- potentially the past observations of how to get stuff done, how to be successful, how our reputation matters, and more. Perhaps from our childhood to what we learned, witnessed, developed, and implemented as adults moving into our high-profile and successful careers - aka: hustle culture.

This season I have called it.

I am in my slow-burn era.  I have already created a community over the past year where we continue to visit, discuss, and understand that self-care also aligns with money in that bank. I'm in no rush and feel no guilt in prioritizing myself, my success starts with me. After Aaron's passing, I realized I needed the right people by my side. I can't build my future alone. 

My new book, Dear Aaron, sparks the conversations we often avoid but desperately need, about love, loss, ambition, and the messy in-between. This isn’t a guide or therapy manual; it’s a raw reflection of my journey, our journey. You may see yourself in these pages, feel a little uncomfortable, and yet, find hope woven throughout. Because the most important conversations are the ones that challenge us.

Allow me to ask you: “ How are you feeling?”

TRENA LAINE OLFERT is a passionate entrepreneur, an award-winning beauty industry coach and makeup artist, and the heartfelt author of Dear Aaron. With a decades-long career, Trena has touched countless lives as a podcast host of The Uncut, as a keynote speaker, blending authenticity and compassion into all she does. 

Following the profound loss of her husband, Aaron, she channeled her grief, resilience, and hard-won lessons into a poignant memoir that explores love, loss, healing, and the courage to redefine life beyond hustle culture and societal norms. Trena’s mission is to inspire others to prioritize mental well-being, find strength in vulnerability, and create meaningful work and connections.

For more information, visit: Trena Laine’s Linktree